[Aunt Ilana]

Here are a couple of quotes a friend sent me, from merciless restaurant reviews by a British food critic, Jay Rayner.

Quote:

There was no cutlery on our table. I looked for waiting staff, but the room was so big they were probably obscured by the curvature of the earth. Eventually we got up and nicked knives and forks off a table a kilometre away. It was a bit of a pity we did, because it meant we could eat.---Jay Rayner on the Corinthian, Glasgow.

Quote:

The service is like herpes: absent for a long stretches, and then suddenly impossible to get rid of. Jay Rayner on Cecconi, London.

What was your worst dining experience?

[Aunt Clara]

Tourist trap in Barcelona. Worst paella ever!

I know, I know... paellas are not really from Barcelona. But for heaven's sake, I can make a better one from one of those Goya packages.

On top of that the beer sucked, the waiters were "like herpes", and the food very slow to arrive.

I don't think I'll ever eat there again.

[Azua&Bani]

When I was "cast out" to Fall River, MA It was a complete culture shock for me. I went from living in a melting pot of many cultures in Boston to a mainly Portuguese town. I was happy to find a Dominican restaurant in Fall River. Shocked, but happy. I went in and tried the moro de guandules ....awful!!!!. It looked like allthey used is those sazon packets from goya. I was just in awe. The mofongo had a little too much garlic in it. I thought it was platanos mashed with garlic in it not garlic mashed with platanos in it. They sold frozen store bought jamaican beef patties in place of pastelitos; It was a diaster. I must say their carne guisada and most of their fried food was actually really good. They were just lazy with almost everything else. With that being the only Dominican restaurant in the whole city I was very disappointed. I expected more. I don't want our food to be portrayed in the wrong manner to people who haven't had the pleasure of eating REAL Dominican food. I still go there on my lazy days, but thankfully, those days come quite seldomly.