Do Dominican men fail the kitchen test or are they no worse than men from other countries? While I wait for your replies to pour in, let me tell you about my experience.

I have been married for three years to a divine Dominican man called Pedro. He is absolutely perfect in every way, but - alas - once I had decided he was the man for me, I began to realise that there was one huge drawback here: the man could not cook. In an ideal world my husband would be a gourmet chef, not because I can't cook myself or don't like cooking, but because I enjoy sharing the pleasure of cooking and would really prefer not to have to cook every day.

Pedro has shown some initiative in the kitchen, but this is restricted to the dishes he likes that I haven't mastered, like mangú for breakfast. Not being a fan of heavy breakfasts of any sort, be they the English fry-up or Mexican huevos rancheros; boiling and mashing viveres first thing in the morning is not a task I rush to undertake. Pedro, who prefers his mangú to my marmite toast, has been forced by sheer necessity to enter the kitchen for this purpose.

I have to wrack my brains to come up with another culinary achievement by Pedro, and can only cringe at the memory of his noble but ill-fated attempt to make boiled eggs and toast for a large group at breakfast last Christmas morning... and honestly nothing else comes to mind. On the positive side I think there is potential there and that some more encouragement and persistence from me could produce great results in the long term, but it's bound to be a slow process.

Put it down to macho culture, where women do everything for their husbands and sons and in some cases do not even let them enter the kitchen. It is by no means unique to the Dominican Republic or the rest of the Latin world. This has been the case in Northern Europe and North America until recently as well. The difference is that young people in the northern countries tend to leave home to live independently well before getting married, so both men and women learn to cook out of necessity. In the Dominican Republic and other Latin countries it is still the norm to remain in the parental home until marriage, but this is changing.

I know a couple of exceptions to the rule, and not just from members of the younger generation. An outstanding example is an uncle of Pedro's who has cooked us some of the most delicious and memorable meals I have tasted in the DR.

If you share my predicament, I have one piece of advice: there are many men all over the world who cannot cook but I have yet to find one who is physically incapable of doing auxiliary menial tasks such as washing dishes or chopping vegetables. Whether they are willing is another matter...

I would be interested in hearing people's experiences, so if you are a Dominican man, or living with one please let us know what you think.

By Aunt Ilana


Photo by Pedrito Guzman. Used with permission.

Can Dominican men cook? I think that there are some who can, but then there are those who don't even know how to make scrambled eggs!!! I know that for myself, sitting in the kitchen while my mom was making arroz, habichuela y carne, was where I learned how to cook the basics. Unfortunately, some mothers tell their sons to leave the kitchen because that is no place for them there. Those are the ones who grow up to be the men who can't cook. Today, thanks to many of the websites providing recipies, I usually go online, grab a recipe (not Dominican recipies), buy the ingredients, and cook up a storm in my house. Besides, now its my turn to take care of those who took care of me when I was growing up. Esta noche, vamos a comer bistec empanizado con un morro de guandules con coco, un plato de ensalada y una fria!!!!!

I don't really know what to say, when I first married my husband he couldn't cook. But he had no problem commenting on the ingredients added or the taste of my food..."my moms taste different". He would sit in the kitchen and watch me making comments...then go back and try to cook the same dish later on. Only problem is his food came out not so good and I would come home to find him starving. After trial and error when I finally had dishes that tasted good or close to his mothers, he would try to take over. Now he acts like he perfected the dish knowing that I did,especially when we have company over. But I'm not mad, I just laugh at him.