"Dear Aunt Flora," was a regular column appearing in The Santo Domingo News (the predecessor print publication of DR1.COM) written by a British expatriate living in Santo Domingo. It has been reproduced with permission from the owners of DR1.com


Dear Aunt Flora,

Inspired by her husband’s commercial success, Liliana thinks that she should also make a contribution to the joint bank account in the Channel Islands. She has now started a series of courses for foreign residents which, she believes, will considerably ease their mental strain and allow them to live with lessened frustration and greater contentment. Starting her battery of training with a single morning’s course called “Supermarket Shopping the Dominican Way,” she invited my wife, Samantha, to sample one.

She told us to pick her up from her house at 9:30 am. We rang the bell dead on time, and advised the maid that we had come to collect the Señora. We were shown into the sitting room and a few minutes later Liliana appeared in her dressing gown. “Well,” she said, “this is a very bad start, isn’t it?” “Yes,” I replied, “are you sick or something?” “No,” she answered, “you’re just too jolly early. When I, as a Dominican, say 9:30 I actually mean 10:30, at the very earliest. So you will have to cool your heels until I am ready.”

At 10:53 she was set to depart, dressed and coiffed as though she was going to attend a cocktail party in Belgravia, not to traipse around a bloody supermarket. She pointed out that Samantha was not at all suitably dressed, looking as though she was practically attired for shopping. “I’m not going out to try and impress men,” said Samantha. “Neither am I,” explained Liliana, “but I’m out to impress other women. If I can dress like this just to go shopping, won’t they start to panic when they know we’re going to the same social function?”

So, off we went, yours truly driving, with Liliana in the back. Approaching the supermarket I edged over to the right side of the road and indicated that I was turning into the car park. “Carry on, carry on,” shouted Liliana and I quickly veered back to the centre of the road. There was a screech of brakes and the hooting of several horns. “Slightly redeemed yourself there,” said Liliana, “but go around the block again and follow my instructions.”

Approaching the supermarket once again, she told me to stay on the left hand side of the road until the last minute. “Now,” she instructed, “don’t indicate, just turn right, across the traffic.” More squealing brakes, frantic honking of horns and the dull clunk of two vehicles colliding behind me. “Not in there!” yelled Liliana, “that’s the entrance, the next gap, that’s the exit.” Safely parked, Liliana said that although I showed promise, I probably needed her “Drive Like a Dominican Course” to achieve any standard of acceptable proficiency.

Well, I desagreed totally with this article, maybe this woman has no sense of education what so ever. When going to the supermarket, she has no respect of others and I shouldnt be calling this a dominican way to shop. Maybe her social circle act like that, thinking that everybody is the same, but let me tell you that it sounds to me that she is more artificial than a bubble gum. She has issues. Put your feet on the grown and instead of being a pain at the supermarket, take time to worry about real world things.
I will like know too, where did she grow up?, if the parents really gave her a good education?, and if so, well she must have a loose screw in her head.
I am feel sorry for her, well, not the right word, I feel pity for her, she obviously has nothing to do in live but to bother others, and think the rest of the world is the same, shame on her.
She should put all that effort on helping people that need help, and on reading self esteem books to be a bether person.

Have all a nice day,

Elsa

Elsa, this is a work of fiction, and while we know that not all Dominicans, not even most, behave like that, it is a great example of satire. And yes, we all know someone like that.