[Aunt Ilana]

Here are a couple of quotes a friend sent me, from merciless restaurant reviews by a British food critic, Jay Rayner.

Quote:

There was no cutlery on our table. I looked for waiting staff, but the room was so big they were probably obscured by the curvature of the earth. Eventually we got up and nicked knives and forks off a table a kilometre away. It was a bit of a pity we did, because it meant we could eat.---Jay Rayner on the Corinthian, Glasgow.

Quote:

The service is like herpes: absent for a long stretches, and then suddenly impossible to get rid of. Jay Rayner on Cecconi, London.

What was your worst dining experience?

[Aunt Clara]

Tourist trap in Barcelona. Worst paella ever!

I know, I know... paellas are not really from Barcelona. But for heaven's sake, I can make a better one from one of those Goya packages.

On top of that the beer sucked, the waiters were "like herpes", and the food very slow to arrive.

I don't think I'll ever eat there again.