A few weeks ago we had a poll to determine how good our readers were in the kitchen. From this we learnt that 44% of our visitors were good cooks, 33% were ok cooks and 21% were a hazard in the kitchen. If I am surprised by the result it is because there weren’t more people in the last category. I certainly have made enough stupid things myself to earn my “Hazard Badge” with room to spare.
The best of cooks makes mistakes, some embarrassing, some funny, and some downright dangerous. I bear the marks of many burns in my hands quite like war scars. I have countless stories of kitchen disasters; that shouldn’t be a deterrent, a good cook will try again, even if that means subjecting a new set of friends to our experiments. Hopefully one will get the dish right before running out of
guinea pigs friends.
Unlike the typical Dominican household in which girls learn how to cook very early, that wasn’t the case with me. The funny thing is that my mom expected me at certain age to have learnt without previous instructions, by osmosis I suppose. That’s how my most infamous kitchen incident happened, one that I am sure will haunt me for the rest of my life.
One day my mother decided that I was ready for my cooking debut, just like that. And she couldn’t have chosen a more difficult dish, a locrio de palomas(doves and rice) it was. Now, before I continue with my story, and before you arrive to the wrong conclusion, I must say in my defense that I had never cooked before. I had watched my mom cook a locrio de pollo before (chicken rice), it seemed simple. I was wrong. This is how it went:
- Dice onions, pepper and herbs.
- Mash garlic.
- Carve doves.
“Wait a minute! carve a dove?” you might ask. Well, yes, that’s what I had seem my mom do with the chicken. Unfortunately it doesn’t work quite as well with doves, they have this obnoxious tendency of having tiny legs and wings not suited for carving. The locrio didn’t turn out so bad, that is if they hadn’t paid attention to the fact that there wasn’t any meat in it. Unfortunately my family wasn’t very forgiving and to this day nobody seems to remember that I have improved my technique since then. Apparently I will always be remembered for the Vanishing Dove Incident.
This is, on the other hand, a disaster-proof recipe. What’s easier than to boil things? You can serve it as a salad, or light entree.